The precious gift of parental neglect

Carol Sarler writes in The Times:

The University College study found that nearly half of children between 8 and 11 are never allowed to leave the house alone. Anxious, upright parents, among them those perfectly prepared to rail against the intrusion of CCTV or identity cards in their own lives, are buying into the equally new notion that it is part of their job to run 24/7 surveillance on their own children.

Privacy, it has been decided, is no longer a luxury that children can be afforded. I do not believe that my mother would have dreamt of reading my diary; I know that I did not read my daughter’s. Yet I recently heard the mother of a 14-year-old patting herself on the back for having cracked her daughter’s e-mail password, such that all the girl’s mail, in and out, is covertly copied to her mother’s PC. “Well,” she said, to much nodding agreement, “These days . . . you can’t be too careful, can you?”

Yes, you can. I further think that the biggest difference between “these days” and better days is not an increase in risk but a huge increase in artificially stimulated alarm, boosted by prurient gawping at the occasional, albeit dreadful, tales of a Sarah or a Madeleine, whose agonies handily provide an excuse to impose a constant, intrusive and ultimately counter-productive adult presence upon children who deserve better.

2 Responses to “The precious gift of parental neglect”

  1. Korenwolf Says:

    We don’t covertly monitor the kids email, we make sure they are aware of what we do to monitor their net use. Since the eldest has turned 16 that monitoring has stopped on the email front but she’s well aware that the proxy does log all web traffic. Parents need to be open, honest and make sure the kids know why they’re monitoring their net use (it has some very nasty corners) and explain how they can properly manage their security (don’t give out more information than you have to, fake where necessary and don’t let schools bully you into filling out personal details on “surveys”).

    In short, provide the safety net while educating.

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